Doubts and shorts

I loathe and despise all those articles and advice columns that presume to tell women what not to wear. You’ve seen them: the little headlines that seem to pop up everywhere like 24 things not to wear after 30 or Ten things middle-aged women should Stop Wearing Now! and other such condescending tripe. From my point of view, every woman is different and should wear what she likes.

Yet, I recently found myself wondering if I were too old to buy genuine shorts.  I moved to the Bay Area fifteen years ago and, since I’m usually cold here, I have not needed to buy new shorts.  But as I was packing for our recent trip to a warmer climate, I noted how shabby all my shorts have gotten and how tightly some of them fit!  So I commenced the search for sturdy new hiking shorts.

I confess that I attempted to buy longer shorts.  I tried on pairs similar to this and this. Yuck and Ick.  With the shorts hitting just above the knee, my shanks looked bony and lumpy.  That one vein that bulges (and has since I was 19) appeared to be lit by an interior neon glow that highlighted my scars and reverse pigmentation spots.  I returned dejectedly to the rack.  And there they were.  Hanging mistakenly on the sale rack was a pair lovely olive shorts that were not long, but had a decent inseam.  The price tag was absurd for  shorts; I tried them on anyway.  By revealing some nice smooth thigh, the shorts made my shins look less discolored and misshapen.  I bought them!  And a skort too! Take that, fashionistas!  And I was deliciously comfortable in the 95-99º temperatures that the Italian summer had to offer.

So, I promise to never read, and certainly never write, anything prescribing or proscribing what other people should wear.


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