Beyond my control

The photo above is of some of the sweaters that survived the purge.  The sweater shelf in my closet was jumbled, chaotic, and  looked especially horrible next to my husband’s precisely folded knitwear. He’s annoying that way.  Looking for anything on that shelf was frustrating and time consuming, so I attacked it ruthlessly and found the exercise very satisfying.  The sweater shelf is, for now, under control.   Everything currently on the shelf will be in regular rotation this fall and winter.  Only one sentimental item remains:  a French sailor’s sweater that I bought at the Coopérative Maritime de Royan over 30 years ago.  The sweater is stained and moth-eaten, but you can see the lovely pattern in the knit, and the wool is of great quality.  I couldn’t bring myself to throw it away because I bought it for my Dad who passed away four years ago.

Now my mother is dying of lung cancer.  Her health, her decline, her weakness, her pain are all out of my control.  So I’m managing my feelings of insufficiency by working and by organizing some things that must submit to my will. I think the pantry is next.



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